The 2012 Ass Clown – Lord Mittens

Posted on January 3, 2013


ass clown /as kloun/ n: an abject failure who is simultaneously arrogant, condescending and obnoxious. Synonym: douchebag

2012 was tough...

2012 was rough for Lord Mittens

The 2012 Ass Clown of the Year is the one and only Lord Mittens, Mitt Romney. From the 47% video, which was precisely the percentage of the American electorate he got to vote for him, to blaming President Obama’s victory on “gifts” to minorities, Lord Mittens embarrassed himself with his lack of intellectual honesty, his political gaffes, his racists statements, and being completely out of touch with the electorate. Essentially, he was exposed as a fraud…

R0mney’s year can be summed up by what happened on the night of Saturday, December 8, 2012:

“Hi, Manny. I’m Mitt Romney. I ran for President. I lost.” Mitt Romney, the uber-rich scavenger and financial mercenary turned presidential candidate, introduced himself to Manny Pacquiao moments before Pac-Man was knocked out with a vicious shot by Juan Manual Marquez.

Considering how Lord Mitten’s 2012 had turned out to that point, Pac-Man’s handlers should have thought twice about letting Romney into the locker room.

So, let’s do a quick look back on why Lord Mittens is this Year’s Ass Clown:

  • 47%. Could there be a more douchebaggery moment in the history of Presidential politics than when Lord Mittens, speaking at a Boca Raton fundraiser by fellow private equity douchebag – Marc Leder, uttered the following words:

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax… [M]y job is is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.

  • Self Deportation. Mittens answer to illegal immigration is self-deportation – which essentially means making life so miserable on folks that they’ll leave. Romney cited aspects of the Arizona law, which other things, compels police to check immigration status of someone they suspect is illegal, as his guide for immigration policy. It’s hard for the GOP to broaden their demographic base when they treat illegal immigrants with such disdain.
  • FEMA. Lord Mittens in the primary made this asinine statement that came back to haunt him as Hurricane Sandy struck on the week before the election, causing massive damage to the NY/NJ area. President Obama performed his duties admirably and top Romney surrogate – N.J. Governor, Chris Christie had effusive praise for the President’s response.
  • Gifts for Minorities. After a resounding defeat in the popular vote (3.7%) and an electoral college landslide, Lord Mittens had a conference call where he sounded like a spoiled brat. In one excerpt, he advises future Democrats running to offer “free dental care” as part of the Affordable Care Act:

It’s a proven political strategy, which is give a bunch of money to a group and, guess what, they’ll vote for you. What I would do if I were a Democrat running four years from now — I’d say dental care ought to be included in Obamacare.

On the “gifts” to Latino voters, Romney pointed to what he called a “Dream Act Amnesty program,” which was his name for the Obama administration’s shift in immigration policy earlier this year. He also pointed, again, to Obamacare:

What the president did is he gave them two things. One, he gave them a big gift on immigration with the DREAM Act amnesty program, which was obviously very very popular with Hispanic voters, and then number two was Obamacare … For a home earning — let’s say $30,000 a year — free health care, which is worth about $10,000 a year, I mean it’s massive, it’s huge. So this — he did two very popular things for the Hispanic community.

Other prominent ass clownish behavior…

Admittedly, this was an easy and obvious choice… but just as LeBron James is unquestionably the Male Athlete of the Year (SI) and Barack Obama is the Person of the Year (TIME), then Mitt Romney, better known at The Political Equation as Lord Mittens is the Ass Clown of the Year! Congrats Mittens!