The Weekly Ass Clown – Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

Posted on December 1, 2012


ass clown /as kloun/ n: an abject failure who is simultaneously arrogant, condescending and obnoxious. Synonym: douchebag

The AssHat

This Week’s Ass Clown is Bat-Shit Crazy, Right Wing Nut Job (RWNJ), the guy who was just elected to his fifth term from Texas’s 1st Congressional District – the one and only – Louie Gohmert.

Earlier this week on fellow-RWNJ Frank Gaffney’s anti-Muslim radio show, Rep. Gohmert said that President Obama ousted former Libyan leader Muammar Qaddaffi so Al-Qaeda could take over Libya.  By virtually accusing President Obama of treason while disregarding the fact that fellow-Weekly-Ass-Clowner, John McCain, along with GOP Senators Rubio (R-FL) and Graham (R-SC) were critical of the White House for not bombing Qaddaffi sooner, and despite the fact that President Obama’s decision to launch the mission staved off an impending massacre in Misrati, Rep. Gohmert’s new conspiracy portends that Obama essentially supports terrorists (i.e., enemies of the State).

GOHMERT: What was all the rage a year and a half ago? It was the Arab Spring and how wonderful it was! This administration really embraced blowing out Mubarak – yes, do it up by all means – getting rid of Qaddafi, it wasn’t enough to send verbal accolades, this administration sent planes and bombs and support to oust Qaddafi so that al-Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood could take over Libya. 

I mentioned “new conspiracy” above, because this former judge has advocated a shit-ton of conspiracies… as well as a number of off-the-wall, outlandish statements.

Conspiracy Theory: Birther

Rep. Louie Gohmert was a co-sponsor of the defeated “Birther Bill” HR. 1503 that was born out of the discredited theory that Barack Obama is not a U.S. citizen. In fact, President Obama was born in the U.S. and here is his long-form birth certificate.

Conspiracy Theory: Muslim Brotherhood Infiltration of U.S. Gov’t is Threatening U.S. National Security

Rep. Louie Gohmert joined such Queen Crazy-Person, Michelle Bachmann, urging the State Department Inspector General in this letter to  investigate whether Huma Abedin, a top aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and other department officials were trying to infiltrate the Obama administration to influence U.S. foreign policy to aid the Muslim Brotherhood and other Islamist causes. The congressmen cited a report by the far-right think tank Center for Security Policy.

What was Gohmert’s and Bachmann’s evidence? The report alleges Abedin has three family members — her late father, her mother and her brother — who are connected to Muslim Brotherhood operatives or organizations.

This theory is so batshit crazy that the GOP usual suspects – Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC), Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA), GOP Strategist Ed Rollins, and even famed Ass Clown John McCain all condemned the conspiracy. McCain said in a speech on the Senate floor that the allegations against Abedin, a Muslim American, were an “unwarranted and unfounded attack on an honorable woman, a dedicated American, and a loyal public servant.” McCain continued, “Put simply, Huma represents what is best about America: the daughter of immigrants, who has risen to the highest levels of our government on the basis of her substantial personal merit and her abiding commitment to the American ideals that she embodies so fully.” Furthermore, House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said “I don’t know Huma, but from everything I do know of her, she has a sterling character… And I think accusations like this being thrown around are pretty dangerous.”

Conspiracy Theory: “Terror Baby” Plot

Rep. Gohmert  claimed in 2010 on the Floor of the U.S. House of Representatives that terrorists were flying to the United States and having “terror babies” that would via the Fourteenth Amendment, be citizens of the U.S. A must see interview with Anderson Cooper and Rep. Gohmert occurred where Gohmert could not produce a single piece of evidence that “terror babies” were real. The only evidence he suggested was this Washington Post piece about Birth Tourism – certainly nothing relevant to terrorism or the middle east. Additionally, a high ranking FBI agent claimed there is no credible evidence to indicate a plan for “terror babies” existed.

A Sampling of the new Ass Clown’s Most Outlandish Statements

  • Gohmert claimed that the U.S. is in a state of such spiritual disrepair that the country is even worse off than during slavery, arguing that while “Andrew Jackson’s time was not a great time, at different times slavery was a blot on our existence,” America has “never as an entire nation overall been so far away from God’s teaching and so openly rebelling, even from the top, against God’s teaching in the Bible.”
  • On July 20, 2012, Gohmert appeared on The Heritage Foundation’s “Istook Live!” radio show the day of the July 20, 2012 Aurora, Colorado cinema shootings, which left 12 people dead, and 59 injured. Gohmert blamed the shooting’s outcome on the erosion of Judeo-Christian beliefs, and the lack of concealed carriers in the theater. Gohmert said: “You know what really gets me, as a Christian, is to see the ongoing attacks on Judeo-Christian beliefs, and then some senseless crazy act of terror like this takes place… People say … where was God in all of this? We’ve threatened high school graduation participations, if they use God’s name, they’re going to be jailed … I mean that kind of stuff. Where was God? What have we done with God? We don’t want him around. I kind of like his protective hand being present.” Gohmert went on to say “It does make me wonder, with all those people in the theater, was there nobody that was carrying a gun that could have stopped this guy more quickly?
  • In a 2012 meeting of the House Natural Resources Committee, Gohmert stated his strong support of a trans-Alaskan pipeline, as a means for caribou to have more sex. According to Gohmert, “When [the caribou] want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline. So [his] real concern now [is] … if oil stops running through the pipeline … do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?” Gohmert’s comments were not favorably received by the rest of the committee; reportedly, Alaskan representative Don Young was forced to stifle his laughter in response.
  • Gohmert does not believe in man made climate change, and has asserted that data supporting the theory is fraudulent.
  • He accused President Obama of wanting to grow government and “kill charities.”

In summary, Louie Gohmert is a fine and deserving choice for this week’s Ass Clown. His ability to say outlandish rubbish, while claiming to be a victim is truly amazing. This is a man who gives attorneys a horrible name, judges a worse name and, along with Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), a primary reason the U.S. Congress has an 18% approval rating. Well done Louie… you are one superb Douchebag and this Week’s Ass Clown.

Posted in: Ass Clown, Politics